Reaching Wholeness through the Integration of the Shadow Self, the Dark Side of the Soul

"In each of us there is another whom we do not know." ~ Carl G. Jung

Carl G. Jung defines the shadow, in analytical psychology, as an unconscious aspect of the personality with which the ego doesn’t identify itself. The ego, when operating at its highest capacity and running the show, chooses which characteristics are convenient and represses those that aren’t. In this way, many aspects that make a being whole are put aside e aren’t accepted consciously. This type of attitude strengthens the ego both individually and collectively, since the person lives then under the false pretension of perfection, in denial of their own limitations.

"Unfortunately there can be no doubt that man is, on the whole, less good than he imagines himself or wants to be. Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual's conscious life, the blacker and denser it is. If an inferiority is conscious, one always has a chance to correct it. Furthermore, it is constantly in contact with other interests, so that it is continually subjected to modifications. But if it is repressed and isolated from consciousness, it never gets corrected." ~ Carl G. Jung in "Psychology and Religion" (1938).

We live in a dualistic society and judge people, situations, etc, according to two extreme poles: the good and the bad, the right and the wrong, heaven and hell, day and night, birth and death, and so on. However, this is not a realistic way of seeing things, given that life is lived in the gray area, where we find points of intersection between the two poles and much more often than not are incapable of producing a firm verdict about something or someone.

Because of our need to establish labels and titles, we end up doing that not only to others, but to ourselves as well. Be that as it may, when it comes to other people, it’s infinitely easier to label negatively. When it’s about ourselves, under the ego’s false pretension of perfection, we focus only on what’s good and right, on what’s convenient and socially moral. Therefore, we become conscious of and only accept, often erroneously, only what we can label as positive in our personality.

According to Miller in Zweig and Abrams - What the shadow knows: an interview with John A. Sanford (2011):

The Jungian definition of the shadow was very well put by Edward C. Whitmont, an analyst from New York, when saying that shadow is “everything that was repressed during the development of the personality, for not being adapted to the ego ideal. If you had a Christian upbringing, with the ego's ideal of being benevolent, morally upright, kind and generous, then you certainly needed to suppress all your qualities that were the antithesis of that ideal: anger, selfishness, crazy sexual fantasies and so on. . All of these qualities that you have sectioned would form the secondary personality called "shadow".

The result is then the repression of aspects of our personality and character that we judge as wrong and bad. By doing so, not only do we suppress those qualities of our being, but we also become blind to them. We don’t see them in ourselves, only seeing them in others, though, through the concept of projection.

Jung states that “Projection is one of the commonest psychic phenomena…Everything that is unconscious in ourselves we discover in our neighbor, and we treat him accordingly.” and “as a matter of fact, a projection is not made, it simply occurs”. In consequence, everything that exists within us, we see in others.

This concept, however, is not only applied to the projection of the shadow exclusively, given that we see in others positive qualities as well and not only the negative ones. For this reason, if we intentionally pay attention to what we are capable of recognizing in others, we will bring to our consciousness in a clear way that which exists in ourselves in its totality. If we see goodness, generosity, joy, love, etc, in our neighbor, it means that these traits exist in us. Equally, if we see in him envy, greed, a tendency towards “evil” in any way, it’s because these qualities also live within us.

“Projections change the world into the replica of one's own unknown face” ~ Carl G. Jung

What happens is that we are not normally aware of this and define everything that we see and judge in others as something that belongs exclusively to them. For it is clearly so much easier to judge another and to look outside than to judge ourselves and look within.

“Our vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” ~ Carl G. Jung

Therefore, the process of integrating our shadow self with the intent of becoming a whole and conscious person begins with the acceptance of all the aspects that make us who we are for real, without any illusions. For this purpose, the awareness that we project onto others only what is inside of us is a powerful tool. Inas much as it’s extremely valid and important to bring to consciousness our positive traits as well, since we are talking about our shadow, Jung and the German writer and painter Hemann Hesse have some tips:

According to Jung, “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves” and according to Herman Hesse, “If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us.”

Then, since we now know this, we can become more attentive to our daily interactions, consciously looking to bring to us that which we see in others that irritates us. By thinking that, based on projection, we only see in others what already exists in us, if something irritates us about someone else, it’s because that characteristic is present in our being. If it irritates us it’s very possible that it is part of our repressed shadow, since the ego doesn’t accept it and doesn’t allow its expression.

Integrating our shadow self asks of us persistence and intentionality, once it is about self confrontation and a battle against the ego. We hardly ever accept confrontation when it comes from a third party when they point out our flaws, imagine how much harder it is to consciously work to remove of ourselves all the masks we have built over the years.

“The shadow is a moral problem that challenges the whole ego-personality, for no one can become conscious of the shadow without considerable moral effort. To become conscious of it involves recognizing the dark aspects of the personality as present and real.” ~ Carl G. Jung

Not only does integrating our shadow self require of us intentionality and willpower, but also that we leave aside all prejudice and judgement, everything that has been built based mainly on the ego and its illusions. We need to look at ourselves objectively and openly, in order to accept in us and in others traits that aren’t pleasant and favorable.

Through this process we face qualities that we previously judged to be unacceptable and irremediable. Through looking at ourselves objectively we discover within us aspects of our being that are displeasing to ourselves. However, everything that we bring to consciousness ultimately frees us.

“That which we do not bring to consciousness appears in our lives as fate.” ~ Carl G. Jung

The unaccepted and non-integrated shadow, though repressed, is still active. It appears unconsciously and causes damages to ourselves and our relationships. We can notice the action of the shadow self in those moments when we lose control of our emotions, actions, and reactions. We normally feel embarrassed by how we have acted and caused pain to ourselves and others. Depending on how thick the veil of the ego is over our sight, even with all the consequences of our actions, we might still be blind and blame others for our shortcomings and lack of control.

“The more we deny that we have a dark side, the more power it has over us.” ~ Sheryl Lee.

It is said, maybe not among Christians, that when Jesus went to the desert for 40 days and met with the devil, he wasn’t actually meeting he devil, but his own shadow self. Jesus would have then taken some time for self-reflection to face his own reality and all the feelings and desires that were alive within him. As a holy and pure man the desire for power and dominion over people and nations wouldn’t be seen calmly by others and maybe not even by Jesus himself, given that he had a good heart that sought the good. However, when looking within himself openly and objectively, he found out that there existed within him the opposite, the desire, the “less good”. Consequently, he was able to make a choice in accordance with the natural inclination of his heart.

“Be glad that you can recognize it, for you will thus avoid becoming its victim.” ~ Carl G.Jung

By reflecting on Jesus’s story we can see how easy it is to blame “the enemy” for all our undesirable and inferior attributes, as if he were someone else. However, “the enemy” lives within us, especially when it’s still unconscious. And when we confront and accept these qualities that are alive in us, we may then have control over them and use them advantageously towards what we want in our lives. Consciously, in control of our emotions, seeing ourselves clearly, we are no longer driven to illogical actions and/or reactions, and therefore are able to utilize all of the resources available in our personality and character not only for our own benefit but also the collective’s.

“Rather than climbing up a ladder seeking perfection, we are unfolding into wholeness. We are not trying to transcend or vanquish the difficult energies that we consider wrong—the fear, shame, jealousy, anger. This only creates a shadow that fuels our sense of deficiency. Rather, we are learning to turn around and embrace life in all its realness—broken, messy, vivid, alive.” ~ Carl G. Jung

The integration of the shadow self, which starts with the awareness of its existence and then progresses into its acceptance, has as a consequence the wholeness of our being.

Jung, on the wholeness of our being:

“Wholeness for humans depends on the ability to own their own shadow.”

“The attainment of wholeness requires one to stake one's whole being. Nothing less will do; there can be no easier conditions, no substitutes, no compromises.”

“Wholeness is not achieved by cutting off a portion of one's being, but by integration of the contraries.”

The achievement of wholeness leads us to enlightenment, about which Jung says: “One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.”

Making the darkness conscious requires of us, as previously stated, intentionality, effort, and willpower. The work might be hard, but it’s worth it. When we start to operate from the wholeness of our being we are no longer blind to neither our own behavior nor the behavior of others. Our ego isn’t capable anymore of fooling us and playing tricks on us and the same is true about our neighbor. Since we recognize the darkness within us, we control it. And since we recognize the darkness within us, we also recognize it in others and it has no control over us.

“This thing of darkness I acknowledge mine.” ~ William Shakespeare

There is a myth about Inanna, the Sumerian Queen of Heaven, who went down to the underworld to visit her sister Ereskigal. Ereskigal represents our shadow and Inanna’s journey to the underworld represents our own journey towards meeting, accepting, and integrating our shadow self:

“I went there of my own free will I went there in my finest gown with my rarest jewels and my Queen of Heaven crown In the Underworld at each of the seven gates I was stripped seven times of all that I thought I was till I stood bare in who I really am Then I saw Her She was huge and dark and smelly and hairy with a lion’s head and lion’s claws devouring everything before Her Ereskigal, my sister She was all that I am not All that I have hidden All that I have buried She is what I have denied Ereskigal, my sister Ereskigal, my shadow Ereskigal, my self” ~ Inanna

Indeed, in order to complete the process of integrating our shadow self we must go down to the depths of our being so as to face our less pleasant and less attractive traits. To that end, besides intentionality, we also need love. We must embrace our shadow, even if it’s smelly and hairy, with love and acceptance. Our shadow self, who’s been repressed, lives in the underworld of ourselves, hidden in the darkness of our unconscious mind, starving, forgotten, like a unloved and needy beast. When we find it and look at it and are faced with its reality, we then realize it is not something to be feared or annihilated. We see, however, that it needs nurturing. It needs to come to light. It needs to have a voice. It needs to live in the conscious mind and to have freedom of expression.

By doing so, we are capable of achieving integration, by bringing our shadow to light, by accepting it as an important part of who we are. By integrating the opposites and by accepting them. By accepting that we are neither perfect and nor should we be. By accepting that we succeed and that we fail, that we heal and that we hurt. Only then will we be able to choose how to act at each moment, seeing that the shadow self, when conscious, does no harm. On the contrary, it strengthens us. It shows us that it is ok to take a stand, to make mistakes, to get it right.

Consequently, the integration of the shadow self frees us to become everything we have always been and that was hidden from us, buried under layers of social and familiar conditioning, of lies and pretensions, of illusions. The integration of the shadow self empowers us and reveals to us our own selves, it shines a light on all the aspects of our being and allows us to act, react, feel, and live with awareness and balance, from love and acceptance. When we live like this, we vibrate at our own frequency, we attract to us the best outcomes and align ourselves to our purpose and the ideal people and situations for our walk on this Earth. We create our own reality consciously, for there is coherence between the conscious and the unconscious, between our mind and our heart, between what we feel and what we do and say, as the Hermetic Law of Correspondence states “As within, so without.” We become alchemists of ourselves, transmuting darkness into light. We become writers of our own destinies, creating our life’s stories consciously and with open eyes. We become freed and free beings, ready to soar high.

“'Wholeness' – A state in which consciousness and the unconscious work together in harmony." ~ Daryl Sharp, Jung Lexicon

From a state of wholeness we are then capable of following Friedrich Nietzsche’s advice and become who we really are.

I say to you, then, my dear friend and reader: “Become who you are”.